When I grow up, do I want to be an Auckland Black Knight?

Posted on November 14, 2024 by Dominique Touchaud

I have enjoyed Auckland FC’s debuts in the A-League…so far. Not because the team won on the pitch. That’s sweet but anecdotal. Football fans know that victory cannot be expected. But because I can feel something brewing. Am I already ready to get a Black Knight tattoo then? Not quite…I am still missing a Legend I could be a part of.
Supporting a football club is a misery. Even the Great real Madrid, probably the most successful football team in Europe, has a 35% loss rate in the history of La LIga. FC Barcelona’s loss record goes up to 48% .
The glorious uncertainty of sport is neither a reason why we love the sport. Of course, there will be od remontada or the victory against a German Club that makes you feel invincible when you go to bed that night. But it is a luxurious candy for the lifelong supporter. Only a handful of teams (5 or 6?) truly compete for the League title. No matter how much money other club owners throw at their team. In most countries, the national championship only has 2 or 3 true contenders. Yet, if I consider my native France, Lens has a full stadium year in and year out, and the best fans in the country, even when they don’t win anything (which is more often than none). Other clubs, better funded , have long come and gone, often after millions of dollars had evaporated on the pitches.
RC Lens, Borussia Dortmund, AZ Alkmaar, Hambourg SV, Ajax , Liverpool and Wrexham have built a community. That brotherhood feeling is passed on from fathers to sons (and daughters). And itis stronger than the strongest player in the team. One of Bill Foley’s other team, Lorient, a French fishing port, is named after the fish the players and fans used to catch when football was an amateur sport (Les Merlus). They may never win a title but their fans are still committed for life
All these teams have a Legend. Auckland FC still has a Legend to build
We have a few iconic Club players who can be the heroes of our Legend : Liam Gillion from Manurewa, signing his first professional football contract, starting in the first three games and now being called up for the All Whites! Hiroki Sakai, who, like a Phoenix, has infinite lives on the pitch, and now leads his knights as if victory was the only option. Alex Paulsen, he who dropped Welly in a heartbeat…

But hat is about it . we are (I am) still missing a plot. A story arc that will bring us together. I have started to read here and there the rich vs poor story because the new owners are…wealthy (as if you can own a football club and be poor). I am not a huge fan of the rich and the poor storyline. To be fair, I am more in the camp of the poor, just like many football fans from the Globe who now call Tamaki Makaurau home
We don’t have a home yet : once you have been to LA Bombonera in Buenos Aires, you know what home advantage means. The slide at the back of the goals will give the stadium a bit of quirky personality but we need to transform it into a cauldron of fun and tension. Still WIP that can’t be left to the Port section only. In the best football stadium, the show happens in all the stands. Noone comes to the game to “just” watch the game. And a game is always much clearer on TV anyway. But we join to be part of a group. But if the Group is closed (the stands behind the port were closed on gameday 2), I can’t feel I belong. It’s as if we were Black Knights from the same army fighting different wars…it will surely help to know why the team called the Black Knights to build that story. And I am so keen to know what the talented management team will come up with.

And , finally, we miss….a conflict. A fight to take on. Something that allows me one dayto stand in the middle of the street and shout “They said it was not possible but WE made it”. We wont be fighting Wellington forever…it cant be just a derby a year. Can we fight the Aussies instead? Settle the Pav story once and for all (imagine fi we welcome the teams with a Pavlova in their dressing rooms…I know , naff but I am a true football an. I do naff for fun).
Beyond the anecdotal marketing gimmicks (mascots sell well), all these allow hardcore fans like me to be part of the legend, create their own version of it. Buy a season ticket and a couple of shirts. The potential is there. In my two years in Auckland, I have enjoyed the diversity of the towns, met football fans all around the sprawling city with my boys’ Northern United FC. And encountered so many fan groups, Latinos, Indians, Asians, Pakeha, Pasifika, and Europeans (the dads on the sideline shouting all game long) who are now playing the beautiful game. I believe that this diversity sets us apart from the rest of the country.
One day, a team will represent that richness. And fan groups in the Port and around the stadium will sing the songs they learnt around the world. When that happens, I promise to come to the games dressed in my best Knight outfit (with a really cool flag of my native Caribbean island. Guadeloupe).
As the great Bill Shankly said “Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don’t like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that.” Give me a legend I can be a part of and I will finally start calling this city home. My whanau will thank you

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The Omega X Swatch collaboration : If it quacks like a duck…

Posted on June 9, 2022 by Dominique Touchaud

Earlier this week, Omega launched a new collection. The watches are sold in the Swatch stores and carry a minimalistic Swatch logo to legitimise a 260 USD retail price. An Omega watch cannot be bought under USD 5000 these days. Think of it as your Fiat dealer showing a Ferrari designed and built in Maranello. Ferrari by fiat. At Fiat’s price. Crazy, right? A pirate move by which Swatch once again makes fun of the luxury watch industry it has come to own and dominate. So why complain?

Sales take off, reminiscent of a past when hordes of fans would queue up to get their hands on the latest Swatch models. Omega might even claim a renewed notoriety. Definitely not your father’s Omega. However, when the novelty factor wears out, the only thing we will remember is that the new Omega Moonswatch costs USD 260.
In an interview with WIRED, Omega’s CEO presents the collaboration as ‘…a fun project (that) adds some light to an industry that can take itself too seriously’. Back in 2018, he also declared that : ’We will never do anything that harms the legacy of the Speedmaster. It has such an important history and it is our duty to ensure that this legacy continues. For instance, we will never come out with a quartz-powered Speedmaster in the interest of sales’…
Why am I feeling some dissonance here? The MoonSwatch is an amazing timepiece, incredibly faithful to the iconic Speedmaster : the form, the twisted lugs, the asymmetrical case. The same size — 42mm in diameter and 13.25mm thick. Exactly. The dials, that all carry “Omega” branding AND the Speedmaster logo (along the Swatch name and the new MoonSwatch moniker). The details are exquisite: the “dot over 90” detail on the tachymeter-scaled bezel and subdials. Plus all hour, minute, and chronograph second hands and hour markers sporting Super-LumiNova so they glow in the dark. For sure, its in ceramic (Swatch’s proprietary Bioceramic, no less) which Omega had never done before. But ceramic can hardly be associated with Swatch or entry-level models. Ceramic has become a ubiquitous alternative to stainless steel in luxury watches (Color ceramic was even introduced by IWC a few years back).

It quacks like a duck and walks like a duck. And if we played a ‘Spot the Swatch design elements’, this would not be a winner.

Mr. Aeschliman, Omega CEO, even admits that ‘Yes, there is a model in black and perhaps it could pass as the real thing in certain light’ (WIRED). Perhaps. At USD 260, it’s a bet worth taking. But all buyers beware : Since July 2008, Swiss customs has the right to seize counterfeit goods found on travellers entering the country : good luck to travellers flying into Geneva and trying to convince the Swiss customs agents that theirs is a legit copy.

I don’t blame partnerships in general : partnerships are a great vehicle to generate interest. Swatch and Omega have a different set of customers and brand associations on their own. The basis are right. However, Omega has been wrongly voluntold to become Swatch’s partner here (Omega and Swatch brands are both owned by the Swatch group).

The best partnerships create value for both brands. A WARC analysis defines 5 possible outcomes:
§ Unlocking new content creation (partnering with a star designer)
§ Changing customer behaviour
§ Building long-term brand equity
§ Reaching new audiences
§ Fulfilling social and environmental goals (partnering for a cause).

I get what Swatch is harvesting : feet back in the Swatch stores and a sudden sales boost sales from luxury-craving crowds. But something feels off. Just compare this to the Apple I-watch X Hermes collaboration that ticks so many of the WARC criteria. Win win cannot be just a concept for partnerships, it’s the only way it works.

In essence, Omega threw a lifeline to Swatch, the darling brand and saviour of the Swiss watch industry. There had not been a queue for any new Swatch new collection since the launch of the Swatch Skin (the thinnest chrono in the world, 3.9 mm, 1997, a pure beauty). Swatch’s last collaboration to date was with the ‘Centre Pompidou’…A louder intervention was needed. Omega was just round the corner. It is the most logical business move.

But the way it has been executed does not reflect a sustainable plan : All 11 models are permanent, unlimited in quantity (no FOMO), available at the same time (no lasting novelty effect) and will all be sold online soon. It is the Swatch Group’s absolute prerogative to use the stronger forces in the portfolio to heal the wounded heroes. But I would humbly suggest not to have a cross over with Breguet or Blancpain next. Not even Rado or Tissot.

Swatch has a renewed relevance. The next partnership for Swatch will prove critical to know if this was worth it. Swatch can do it. Swatch’s core competency is to consistently come up with Swiss quality timepieces that surprise, generate emotions, set new trends, make the fringes mainstream and the mainstream obsolete. And help me to express my unique personality. Oh, and they generate a lust for buying just one more on the spot. Because they are affordable

Meanwhile, Omega is left frying in the European nascent spring sun with absolutely no impact on sales, bottom line or brand salience and a marginal impact on notoriety. The manufacture has delivered a brilliant timepiece with the love and passion one can expect from a luxury Swiss master. It committed resources and a fantastic albeit sleepy image. Most people who queued up for hours obviously already knew of Omega but never thought they could catch one at that discounted price. That’s why they queued. Going forward, Omega market is still in the USD 5000+ segment.

The challenge for Omega remains that its past is desperately stronger than its present. The manufacture became world famous, aspirational and popular when NASA BOUGHT (no partnership here) Omega Speedmaster watches for all Apollo 11 astronauts. It was the only mechanical chronograph deemed fit for the rigors of space travel. Simple (pure) looking, incredibly refined (the dot over the 90!) and robust. It’s still in production today and if you have one, it’s a very sound investment.

Omega was my dad’s brand. It is now in danger to become my nephew’s gadget of the year. Omega has been forced down the discount route with Swatch. The real damage comes from the wasted corporate energy and management time to sort out this collection. The duck is naked. Its golden eggs have been snatched away.

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Hey Boomer, Squeeze this!

Posted on June 9, 2022 by Dominique Touchaud

‘I am a genXer. I work in marketing. And it’s a curse.

ageism

Experience is regarded in many fields as an increased capacity to come up with innovative solutions. Finance directors better have some mileage. Purchasing managers? They negotiate better. Bald tax advisors charge a premium rate. Middle-aged nurses always come up with new tricks to get young and old to smile during the vaccinations. And wait until the 25-year-old architect rings the doorbell as you are dreaming about your new house…. Meanwhile, we keep celebrating the 40 under 40. And then retire them in droves.

Our industry s associates the ability to think, act and execute creatively with age. Not talent. And the only culture we tolerate is of the POP kind. Growing old correlates with the incapacity to learn, change or even use new technology. Even the algorithms agree. Listen to the Backstreet Boys on Spotify, and you are in imminent danger to be retargeted with an ad for the latest Swiss hearing aid device or a sleek titanium hip replacement.

That ‘discomfort’ with age has nothing to do with any digital transformation. It has been transporting senior marketers into an inverted ‘Hunger Games’ for decades. A parallel universe where all the 40 + have been retired ‘en masse’ to pursue other, mostly personal, interests. The 2018 IPA census showed that only 6% of staff in member agencies are over 50, compared with 31% of the workforce.

It’s an economic catastrophe and management nonsense, no less. And it is ridiculously devoid of any ground.

In a study carried out from 2007 to 2021, James Freyer (Dartmouth College) demonstrated that ‘There is a strong and robust correlation between the size of the prime-age workforce, centred around the 40-year-old cohort, and total productivity. Forces that are relatively (too) young OR (too) old tend to have lower productivity. The more diverse a business is – in terms of gender, ethnicity and age – the more successful the business will be. Simply put, diverse businesses are more profitable.

Why is it then that the marketing function is so much more age-biased than, say, finance or logistics? Does age really correlate negatively to strategic thinking, creative inspiration or innovation adoption?
The answer is a resounding NO on all aspects :
– professionals who earn their living with their brains (teachers, historians, philosophers…) are all prone to ‘late’ cognitive peaks. And cognitive declines are at worse gradual but mostly negligible. Older marketers don’t think less or slow or fast. They just keep thinking. And doing. Except they may work faster.
– All creative professions (acting, singing, dancing, architecture, …) reward experience with the highest recognition. 40 is not necessarily your prime if you are a musician, a writer, a dancer or even an NFT producer. Because experience gives creative minds a ‘don’t give a toss’ approach to life and work that actually encourages risk-taking and propensity to break the mould. In more scientific terms, a looser frontal-lobe organisation can heighten creativity in older people. As Professor Rex Jung puts it: “You have lots of data at your hands and you have fewer brakes on your frontal inhibitors: you are able to put things together in your novel and useful way.”
– Would it be then that senior marketers cannot embrace innovation and innovative practices? (Read digital) It would if you consider that being on Tik Tok means understanding how to use Tik Tok in your plans. Most company leaders still mistakenly gauge the pace of adoption of new toys as proof that their internal marketing team is innovative, cutting edge and focused on performance. Activity vs action. I hear that this is even one of the most discussed topics on Clubhouse.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not fighting for my tribe of elephants. All Marketers do have a sell-by date. But it is determined by their individual ‘dare to care’ limit. That moment when the job becomes too easy because you know the environment too well. When getting promoted is more appealing than getting the plan right. When sending an email to your distributor in Japan is more efficient than waking up in the middle of the night to call them. When good enough becomes good.

It can hit you at 25 or at 45 (Truth is, when it hits you at 45, it’s harder to hide).

But if marketing is about translating people’s needs into products and services, it is our duty to change the conversation and bring it back to what makes good marketers: empathy, curiosity and an insatiable desire to learn.
I kept many things from my years with P&G. Above all sits the obsession to do the right thing for the business. This implies constantly balancing experience and expertise to control your own obsolescence. When you are short of both ‘Xs’, you surely run with guts. One day the shift happens. ‘We have always done it like this’ suddenly fights with ‘it’s not working as well as it used to’. This is a battle for relevance that marketers have to fight and overcome and that usually happens even when your wrinkles’ network expands faster than your LinkedIn one.

We should all pay attention to this. You too, my beloved 30-year-old readers (by the way, senior starts at 45 for the statistics, which barely leaves anyone time to enjoy their 40s awards) . With working life may now span a lifetime, taking a fresh approach to how we manage our career is essential: Prioritising training and personal development becomes a duty. I work with scientists and doctors. They all have continuing professional development plans. Marketing seems to be THE industry where learning has a bad rep: marketers often have to pay for their education on their own dimes and it is somewhat shameful to admit that you took an online class in digital marketing or in Strategy unless it is delivered by Ritson, Galloway or the Harvard executive programme.
But marketers who share a desire to learn are Golden Geese, not underperformers. For sure, we need young, challenging minds, but we also need thick-skinned marketers with resistance to stress and bad business results equalling that of a marathonian in the sweltering heat of the Tokyo Olympics. We need balance.
With this balanced approach, our sell-by date will not be programmed. Obsolescence will only start when you can’t get any learning out of the marketer…hey Boomer, squeeze this!
Thanks to Steve Walls, David Mayo and Matthias Blume for their contributions. You certainly don’t deserve early retirement.

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The brilliance of Japanese design and consumer experience – Lotte Chewing Gum

Posted on April 7, 2016 by Dominique Touchaud

Those of us working with Japan have all experienced in some way the brilliance of Japanese packaging designs. Whether it is the shape, the color, the patterns, many elements concur to turn your product experience into a moment of delight. Or torture if the gaijin in you does not understand how to open and use the coffee doses left in their hotel room without a usage manual.
This was again demonstrated to me this morning when I was offered a piece of Lotte gum (2 remarks here : this is Singapore so being offered a piece of gum in the office on Friday is our version of an early exit for drinks – And I have no interest in Lotte so what happened could very well be very valid for any other chewing gum brand marketed in Japan). The discovery that unfolded reinforces my belief that all aspiring designers and creatives should spend some time studying Japanese everyday designs.

pot ouvert 2

So here is me throwing my hand in the Lotte plastic jar (exhibit 1!) to grab 2 little but hopefully long lasting rectangles of pure green chewing bliss. My jaws are ready to get some exercise when I notice a pad of tiny Post it type of notes INSIDE the white plastic jar (exhibit 2…).

pot de chewing gum

The self sticking leaves are the same colour as the squares of gum. And my Indian colleague and myself, to the bemusement of our Japanese counterpart, try to understand the purpose of the post it mini deck?!
We find 3 plausible explanations :

– They keep the gums fresh and solid in the ambiant humidity. Rejected by our Japanese master who reminds us they are Post It notes pad. Like we did not know that yet!
– They must be chewable leaves which you stick under your tongue to get a different feel for the gum’s taste…received with laughter,
– They will be promotional items related to the new campaign idea. As Lotte gums give you ideas, Post It are a great way to capture those ideas…. Red Bull gives you wings so that would not be as stupid as it sounds, would it?…..That also appears to be received with total disbelief by the crowd of Japanese now gathering in our office corner.

dry leaf

Truth is the Post It tiny notes are wrappers for your used gum! Lotte just provides all its “users” with a device (a sort of an offline internet of Things) that gets rid of the only annoying part of the chewing process (for those of us who indulge in chewing that is)…the disposal of the exhausted gum! What brilliant #UX, what incredibly empathic product design….
Look at the pictures . I hope you will have, as I did this morning, the enlightenment moment, after I was given the proper answer…. and you will whisper to yourself…of course, how could I not get it.
Have a happy rest of the day. Arigato Gozaimasu to the designers at Lotte. My chewed gums will no longer end up hidden below tables and chairs…or in recyclable bins!

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Change? Change! How does Pope Francis do it?

Posted on April 7, 2014 by Dominique Touchaud

How does he do it? I mean…its hard enough to get one 5-year-old to change his eating habits and switch preference from lollies to veggies. It borders the impossible. So changing a cult with millions of followers is like convincing consumers to dump the brand they had been using for generations?! No way, Jose…
Until Jorge Maria Bergoglio stepped into the picture. Some of you may know him better as Pope Francis the First. Yep, “First” because he is the first Pope in history to choose Francis as his papal name since 1555 and it was a clear statement of his intent for the Papacy. (For curiosity’s sake I can also report 13 Popes had previously chosen the name ‘Innocent’, in an improbable PR move that no doubt led to some raised eyebrows and disparaging mummers about defensive strategies, and another past Pope had chosen ‘Telesphorus’, the reason for which remains particularly unclear – but did subsequently grant him naming rights to Saint-Télesphore, a town in the southwestern part of Canada’s Quebec province).
Now, as a disclaimer, I am not chanting the merits of the Catholic Church and its leader, nor am I disparaging them. I am what they call a Casual Catholic. That is, I choose to choose and neglect a lot of the things my “birth” faith advocates for or against. And I have chosen to respect all beliefs and faiths and despise from the bottom of my heart and soul, religious extremists, past and present. A class in which our hero of the day does not belong.
Back to Pope Francis… on March 2013, he emerged on the balcony on Saint Peter’s place in the Vatican and… fast forward a year…. he is Man of the Year in Time Magazine (in fact just 9 month after – even Barrack did not get the Nobel Prize that fast!), so many people who hated / despised the Catholic Church or bluntly ignored it are now finding the new Pope “cool” and posting online about it (don’t check, just trust me). And interestingly, it is no longer totally shameful to claim to be a Catholic… The Church has somehow changed – its image – in no time. And what’s amazing is that an Argentinian Jesuit with the charisma of a Chilean cueca dancer achieved this feat.
How did he pull it off? First of all, he acted swiftly to establish the core message of his mandate through:
• His name and its associated values (a man who choses to live in poverty and is the patron saint of animals and the environment) – he obviously must have chosen this beforehand.
• Choosing his closest allies: it only took him one month to form a group of 8 like-minded bishops around the world to tackle the most pressing issues (including the catastrophic management of the Vatican bank) thus bypassing the synods of bishops his predecessors heavily relied on.
• Using lines and mottos which are easily memorable and relatable, but that also deftly sum up his attitude towards his mandate: “Who am I to judge” (on homosexuality)
• Letting his acts precede his words: kissing the face of a disfigured man, cleaning the feet of a Muslim woman, retiring the Mercedes for the Ford Focus, paying his own hotel bill, sporting an iron cross and not a gilded one,….
All these happened in the first few months of the papacy and made the headlines globally. After which, it was easier to deliver the underlying programmes and also share the hard truths
Second…he has been very selective and consistent in defining his priorities:
• His focus is external, not theological: his approach to the core theological questions (frankly no real change on female priests, little progress on acceptance of homosexuality in the Church – but we can talk more of tolerance these days…) is relatively conservative but he has publicly declared that whilst he affirmed the traditional teachings on sexuality, he warned that the Church has become distracted by them… so don’t expect him to please anyone here…Instead, he decided to go after social inequality and it is starting to show.
• He refused to change his character and decided to work with what put him there in the first place: there will be so many other changes, but changing yourself to please others would only be a distraction.
• “On a battlefield, the first duty is to tend to the wounded in the proper way. You don’t ask a bleeding man for his cholesterol level”…so it seems theology is taking a back seat!

Third, he is prepared to upset some of his core constituents: whilst Pope Francis is the first non-European Pope since 772 , 75% of Catholics today are outside of Europe . Still, lapsed Catholics and atheists are predominant in the ‘Old World’. Pope Francis does not target them… Right now, his church followers, liberals and conservatives, face the choice to listen to a new voice of conscience or stay on the side of the Church preachings.
In essence, he did not change the words but he changed the music and the narrative: do things differently to get different results: The Church ‘service’ is a spiritual one: Pope Francis wants to elevate the healing mission of the Church above the doctrinal police work. A church focused on its own right and righteousness is not the Church he wants to lead and he manages it that way. Amongst other things, Bishops who disagreed with his line of thoughts are now progressively retired or retiring by themselves. His newly acquired popularity actually probably helps him get away with the cleansing of the Church rank and file… as he is also savvy enough to use this fame and awareness to his advantages.
Quick, focused, ready to upset…and street smart… this is what defines his change method and his first year in the big velvety chair.
As I am about to call my wife (my closest ally) to let her know I will replace all lollies ( focused, hamburgers still survive) with veggie chips, effective immediately ( fast to act), I will soon see if that method works on my 5-year-old.
And I suspect I may even use this strategy in the office one day.
Good night and good luck. Share the love and my posts.

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The radiologist will see you in a minute

Posted on March 23, 2014 by Dominique Touchaud

Today is medical check up day at the Punta Pacifica “John Hopkins affiliated” Hospital in Panama. The highest standard health facilities in the country, courtesy of the corporate world. It is normal procedure for a guy my age so nothing to worry or joke about; apart from the now traditional Panamanian hiccups of “your name does not appear on our register” at the 7am check in, followed 15 minutes later by the legendary “now you appear but you were not born on the birthdate you write down on your forms”. At which point, the really nice lady of the “programa ejecutivo” offers to take all your info by hand and then type them in the form for you. First victory on the system, you can now get in and hand your body fluids samples to a lady you will probably meet with embarrassment at the cafeteria at lunchtime. Who ever forgot to think of embarrassment as a motive not to get tested for stuff !…even if it is true that when you actually are sick, embarrassment tends to rank very low on the scale but what if it were a cause for actually getting sick ?
The rest of the day is supposed to be rather uneventful, which does not match with Alexandra`s twinkling eyes when she wished me good luck on my way out this morning. It starts in a routine that offers nothing to the inspired blogger…until I get to the echography room ! Now, so that you know, the only echography I experienced so far where the – not so few ones granted to get to know Pala and Titide ( how did Alexandra manage to get one a month and still get it covered by the insurance is still a mystery to me?). So imagine me lying there whilst the lady rubs the gel on my belly and rolls her scan on me, pushing hard on my ribcage and whilst still not moving her eyes from her screen asks ” sure it does not hurt?” in Spanish. At which point I confess I do not speak spanish to limit the interactions between Cruella and me. THEN…THEN….she mutters ” the radiologist will see you in a minute” , “el radiologo va a llegar en un minuto”.

So, here is me thinking “why do I need to see the radiologo? I thought I just needed a radio! “Have they found a foetus in my belly? Paloma would be thrilled but I am not convinced this is how I want to make the headlines of the local newspaper…has she seen something that is so bad she cannot even discuss it herself and needs UN DOCTOR…..Just with 5 words, the nurse transports me from the world of the healthy to the world of the sick. In the next 10 minutes, waiting for the radiologist – who will never come in the end so do not expect a Dr House moment with me today I will be thinking of my Parkinson suffering dad ( which one obviously diagnoses with an echography of the lower parts of the human body), my granny who only went to hospital because the food was better than at home, and all other things that tie me in to the hospital scene.
I know the medical world, I know some doctors, I watch Dr House and Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. I even once had a fling for a woman who would come home at lunchtime and announce in the most charming voice..”I just told a 25 year old he had leukemia…what is for lunch?” I should not be surprised nor obsessed.
But every time I am confronted to the harshness of the medical way of saying things…I am puzzled. And I am even more certain that at least one of my child has to be a doctor. The other one, in true Guadeloupean way, being destined to become a lawyer and the third one when he comes a famous football player ( no plans yet if it is a girl, as he / she is not even conceived so we have some time). When I enter a hospital, I dream to be talked to as a normal person. I long for transparency and honesty and empathy. Why should the radiologist come in to sign the examination scans if there is nothing to check or if he / she has nothing to tell me? as we say in my line of work, “if it ain’t broken, don`t fix it”. And then why does the doctor not come in the end when I have been told the doctor would come.
See, I am not even sick and I already when to get out of here asap.
It is time to go out for lunch. I am dreading the encounter with the samples lady. I shall pretend I do not have body functions and come from a strange planet called France where they put dictators in prison and behead the kings. That was my moment of hospital terror. Even less eventful than an episode of Shwarzwaldklinik. Mental note to self : never ever use your professional jargon with the Boeotians. Or call in a more senior expert if you can handle the situation. EVER. Even if I do not plan to heal or kill anybody with advertising anytime soon.
Here is to the experts fo their trade, whatever that might be. And those who always want the senior guy to sign on on the report. Live from Punta Pacifica Hospital which I prefer to remember as the place where Aristide was officially named Touchaud Touchaud by an officer of the Panamanian “register civil”.
Good night and good luck.

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Marketing on a shoestring

Posted on May 25, 2013 by Dominique Touchaud

23 years ago I boarded a train in Beijing that was heading towards Paris via Ulan Bator,Moscow, Warsaw , East – and West – Berlin, then Maubeuge. Think Soviet Moscow, with the first Macdo on Poutine Square which was a tourist viewpoint , Jaruzelski Poland. That trip taught me everything I ever wanted to know about marketing. Today, I am boarding a plane towards Lilongwe, Malawi, via Nairobi. It may well be my refresher’s course.
The advantage of trips that last more than 12 hours is that they leave you time to think, to look and to feel what is happening around you. Waiting in airports or train stations, without mentioning motorway rest areas, is one of the best observation point there is. Beats any focus group for sure. Most times, it is an observation point from which one stands and watches as opposed to being a part of the crowd. But that is where my Transiberian and malawi extravaganza differ. I am sitting in row 28 on Kenya Airways and trust me, this is as much in the middle of the plane as I want to be. No fancy shmancy food menu for me today. 23 years ago, I even had no idea there was a business class anyway. And i thought anything above 2nd class was luxury. Little did I know that first class in the Chinese Transiberian was just below deluxe and 2 seater wagon…and just above wooden benches. Scotty beam me up back to my youth!
On both trip, I can feel that insisting knot that freezes my brain and whispers…what is around the corner? what does it look like on the other side? How do I call for a taxi, make friends, what food will I eat, will it make me really sick? Did I take the right clothes? Do I have enough money? As i think of myself as the proud product f a multiracial family, how will I face the “real deal”, where those who surrounds me do not look like me and have no clue that grandmother of mine was black?
It challenges everything I know and leaves you hanging there with the task to find all the answers by yourself. And there is no pre-testing in this world. It is not Livingstone’s survival but close enough to get the thrills of traveling pumping again.
Now, imagine a moment you are in the office, tasked with developing that great new idea that will rock Brazilian’s socks off and get them to rush “en masse” for your nicely packaged profit sweetener. You wrote the concept and someone else translated it so that you do not even have a clue about what you are doing but you will assume somebody else , from a highly qualified research institute, can give you the answers. And you will compare with poland because the demographics are similar enough to draw statistical conclusions. Based on those, you will get the mad men to work. All brought up in the cult of Bernbach and Burnett who did not have a clue what a street market in Campinhas looks like. And you may even have a nice film produced in Uruguay because the purchasing people love Uruguay these days.
Rewind. Invert the roles. become the learner of your “consumers”. It will piss off your partner and your kids because things do not necessarily happen where you sit and you have to go away to learn. By the way, why do we bring our kids up with the love of the world when the only thing we want is for them to live at the end of the road?
That is what I learnt in that train and which comes back to me since I left Panama last night…the best marketing I ever did was when i assumed I knew nothing about what I was looking it. it was easier 15 years ago because…well, I did not know much to be honest. About motherhood when working on Pampers or about breakfast when mine was very often taken in a bar after a long night. I did not assume I knew. so I would question everything…the nagging why? why do we say think visualize things the way we do? is there another way out? What would the Japanese do ( yep I went to business schools in the 80s, China was not yet existing)?
This permanent uncertainty was and still is for me the magic of great marketing. That is when you are not Steve Jobs or Jonathan Ives. Because I have no clue how these guys do it but I have a feeling they would never say they are into marketing anyway.
Voila, this was me and my moment of doubt sitting in Schipol. malawi, here we come.
Good night and good luck

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